The Practice of Polygamy in Mormon Culture
Though Joseph Smith received a revelation on the practice of polygamy in the early 1830’s, he told no one. The idea was an uncomfortable one for him, and he avoided presenting it to others, even his wife, leaders of the Church, or his closest friends, until the Lord severely chastised him. The Lord said in the Book of Mormon that the practice of plural marriage is right only when commanded by the Lord to a righteous people in order to raise up seed unto Him. (See Jacob 2.) When Joseph Smith was martyred in 1844, only 29 male members of the Church had entered into plural marriage contracts (Jessie Embry, Mormons and Polygamy: Setting the Record Straight). All were leaders who were often called to do so. Orson Pratt made an announcement publicly admitting polygamy for the Church in 1852, once the Saints had moved west. But still, most Mormons, outside the general leadership, never practiced polygamy. Most who did, took only two or three wives. Polygamy was expensive and burdensome. Studies of the 1880 census in Utah found that communities varied in the percentage of polygamous families — from 5% to 65%.
Joseph Smith was the first prophet called in “the Last Dispensation of Time” — the dispensation at the end of which, the Savior will return in glory. This dispensation is meant for the “restoration of all things,” a time during which all gospel principles and keys would be restored and turned over to Jesus Christ at His coming. The restoration of all things means that ancient principles must be incorporated with newer ones, and could be one justification for a brief practice, or restoration, of plural marriage, as practiced by the ancient patriarchs.
Placing an ancient, traditional practice into Victorian culture is a jarring thing, however, and continues to be a curiousity today. Victorian culture — the culture Mormon polygamy entered — was prudish in orientation with very exact roles delineated for men and women, especially in family life. Men were workers and providers, and women were homemakers and child-rearers. Modesty and propriety were paramount. However, gossip and lurid stories arroused curiousity just as they do today.
In ancient times, hundreds — even thousands — of years passed with plural families raising children who created plural families, surrounded by other plural families. Habits emerged that became long-lived traditions, as to how husband and wives behaved toward each other. The Lord had something to say about this, too, as can be seen in the situation of Abraham and his wife, Sarah. Sarah, who was barren, gave her handmaiden to Abraham, and this was not only legal in the society, but also according to the law of God. Today, such a decision would really raise eyebrows, even in our liberal culture.
When Joseph Smith finally revealed the law of plural marriage, and a few leaders of the Church began to practice polygamy, they had only their Victorian culture and traditions to follow for standard family structure. Polygamy within the Church was only practiced for a couple of generations, so generations of traditional plural family structure never had time to emerge. The culture of monogamy into which the Church was born was not only Victorian, it was western. Orson Pratt, an apostle and an apologist for Mormon polygamy, reminded anti-Mormons that less than 20% of the world’s population practiced monogamy at the time that the Church began to practice polygamy (Jessie L. Embry, Mormon Polygamous Families:Life in the Principle, p. 44).
The European, Victorian pattern of husband and wife behavior that seemed to be comfortable in monogamous relationships was adapted into the Mormon polygamous family. Said Kimball Young,
After all, the plural family was really but an appendage to the basic patriarchal monogamous family. In matters such as the location of the families—whether under the same roof all together or in separate households in the same community or in different localities—there were no definite rules (Young, Isn’t One Wife Enough?, p. 153).
However, as discussed by Jessie L. Embry in her book, Mormon Polygamy: Setting the Record Straight, men tended to take on the expected roles of patriarch and breadwinner, and women as homemakers and child-rearers. The ideal for families with enough money, according to Embry, was for each wife to maintain a separate household. Often, childcare was shared, according to need. Embry cites the case of William Archibald Murray, who had two wives. One wife lived on the farm with the sons who could help with the farm work, and the other wife lived in town with the children who were attending school.
For those polygamous families fortunate enough to be able to maintain separate households, the husbands had to contrive visiting schedules. According to Embry, “one-fourth of husbands alternated daily, one-fourth changed on a weekly basis, one-fourth had an irregular schedule, and the final fourth had a two-day, three-day, or monthly schedule (Embry, p. 93). Relationships among wives and their children varied from household to household. Some plural wives worked together as sisters, supporting each other in every way. Other plural wives resented each other and fell prey to jealousy. Divorce was permitted, and there were divorces. Some of these, certainly, were to escape the general household, and not just to end the marital relationship.
As difficult as polygamy was to live, it was even more difficult to end, once manifestos were issued by prophets Wilford Woodruff and Joseph F. Smith. Men felt highly responsible for the welfare of their multiple wives and children and loathed the call to abandon them. Some fled to Mexico as families to keep the families intact. Others continued to offer financial support as best they could.
